I have a two year old who eats very healthy food. As a matter of fact if you place raw vegetables and fruit in front of her, she will always eat the vegetables first. It's actually very unusual for a child her age. Anyways, I just finished up four years in the Marine Corps and had to move my family in with my parents until I start getting my GI bill money to finish up my last two years of my BS. Ever since we've moved in, my mother has been feeding my daughter nothing but junk. Just so you know that I'm not exaggerating, I kept track of what my mother has given her in the last three days.
Day 1:
1 Reese's jumbo cup
2 chocolate pudding cups
1 Snickers bar
1 cheeseburger happy meal
1 brownie
4 chocolate chip cookies
Day 2
1 small glass of Pepsi
1 Three Muskateer Bar
1 Snickers
1 chocolate pudding cup
2 chocolate chip cookies
1 brownie
1 bowl of ice cream
Day 3
1 cheeseburger happy meal
1 Long John Silver鈥檚 kids meal
1 bag of M%26amp;M's
1 bowl of ice cream
4 chocolate chip cookies
2 small glasses of Pepsi
The worst part of this is that the stuff I listed above is just what I had noticed without even trying. Who knows what else my mother has given her while I wasn't around.
Not only has the food been horrible, the timing has been just as bad. My daughter is still having trouble dealing with the time zone change from Pacific to Eastern, so she goes to bed around 11 pm EST. Anyways, the pudding and ice cream that I listed was given to my daughter around 10 pm. I told my mother that I don't want her eating that crap so late at night, and that it will cause her to develop bad eating habits. My mother just said, "Oh, it's just pudding. Pudding is a dairy product so it's healthy." I mentioned that ice cream is a dairy product as well, and it's really unhealthy. She replied with, "Oh it is not. Ice cream is healthy too. Anything with dairy is healthy." I started getting quite mad, so I walked out and didn't argue.
I was home on leave quite a while ago. I was back from Iraq and visiting family and my mother wanted to go get ice cream. So my wife and I went with her. My mother insisted on buying my daughter her own ice cream cone but I said, "No, a ten month old baby doesn't need her own entire ice cream cone. She can lick off of mine or my wife's." This caused an entire scene at the ice cream shop and nobody ended up getting any and me and my mother didn't talk - not even on holidays/birthdays- until about a week before I moved in with them.
The biggest problem I have with my mother feeding my daughter crap is the health issues and the fact that it will ruin her good eating habits that my wife and I have taught her. Already she will refuse to eat her vegetables that she used to love - which reminds me of another incident. My daughter was eating dinner, and wouldn't touch her veggies so my mother said, "Oh, are you done eating? Here, have a 'treat'." The treat was three mini Hershey bars. My wife said, "No, she can't have that until she eats her dinner." So my mom goes against what my wife said, and says to my daughter, "take one more bite and you can have some candy."
So before I cause a huge scene and hurt my mother's feelings, I want to know - Am I overreacting? My wife and I think something needs to be done, but since the last confrontation was so severe, I want to get some more input and possibly advice on how to handle the situation. I honestly don't know what else to do other than to start being a complete a** hole about the situation because politely saying "I don't want her eating that" doesn't seem to work.
Thanks in advance, also sorry this was so long.My child鈥檚 health - Am I overreacting?As a grandparent whose grandchild is living in the same household, I can see how easy it is to instinctively want to feed them. I don't always agree with what my daughter wants to feed her son - she's vegetarian and I'm not - but I respect her wishes and only feed him meat with her permission. It's not always easy to be the grandparent. But what your mother is doing is completely wrong. She is WAY overstepping her bounds.
I think for the sake of your child's health and to discourage your mother from taking over even more, you should give her an ultimatum. Either she lets you make the decisions about parenting your child, or you will move out. Or , if that will cause a big rift between you, skip the ultimatum and don't explain; just move out. I know you said you're waiting for your G.I. bill, but you may want to reconsider. If this is really important to you, find a way to move out sooner. Enroll in school and apply for immediate financial aid. As a student with dependents, you're eligible for grants that will cover most of your tuition and some living expenses until you get the G.I. established. You may be eligible for a child care grant to cover a sitter while you go to classes. You didn't say what your wife does, but she might be able to work part time or get her own financial aid for college. I would at least check into it.My child鈥檚 health - Am I overreacting?I am in your same situation, I had to have 3 surgeries on my ankles so that kept me from working. Unfortunately we had to move in with my mother in law because we couldn't afford to keep our house.
My mother in law does similar things, she doesn't give our children all of that junk all the time, but there have been a few times that she has. My wife and I talked about it and we both thought it would be best if my wife talked to her because it is her mother. You should be the one to talk to her and do it by yourself so she doesn't feel like she's being attacked.
Start off by telling her that you appreciate all that she has done for you and your family and that living under the same roof must not be easy but that you are grateful for it. Then tell her that there is an issue that you want to clear up and you would appreciate it if she heard you out before she responded back. Say things like you are worried that once you do move out you are worried your daughter is going to have a hard time transitioning from all of the snacks and sweets to a healthy diet again and that you need her help making sure she has a smooth transition and the easiest way for her to help is to give her healthy things that you were once feeding her. Tell your mom that she has a responsible son and that it is your time to show her what a great parent she helped to raise and that she needs to trust that and let you parent your own child.
If you give her more compliments than complaints, she will appreciate that and won't feel like she's being attacked or being told how take care of a child.
Also, not sure if your wife would be into working from home, but my wife works from home. It sure has helped us financially and we're moving out this coming spring. www.MyFamilyFirstCareer.com
Good luck!My child鈥檚 health - Am I overreacting?you're not overreacting. you need to sit your mother down and explain to her that this is your child, so she has to comply with your rules. it's really not good for the child's health if she carries on like this. if she doesn't listen you're going to have to look for alternative accommodation. put your foot down. this is YOUR CHILD and your mother is damaging her health.My child鈥檚 health - Am I overreacting?
You are not over-reacting. Your Mother is trying to control everything and everyone which is quite wrong and she needs to stop dominating. How about you suggest that each family unit cooks for themselves, save 1 day a week perhaps? Also tell her that she is not to give your daughter food you do not want her to have. Don't *ask* her not to give it to her, just *tell* her straight that she is not to give it to her. I wouldn't ever move back to my family/in-laws house, because I know we'd just argue - about everything! If there is any chance you can move out, then I would strongly suggest doing so.
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